had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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