So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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