I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
