Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
