Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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