I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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