I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize