When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
