Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
