Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
