I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
