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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
