Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize