I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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