Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
