So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
