Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
