You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
