That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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