I smell stomach acid.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
