She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
