You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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