MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
