If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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