i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
They are going to name an STD after you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
