dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Of course I have a pirate flag
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
