She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
