my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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