She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
