Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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