Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
