Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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