Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
