it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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