chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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