Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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