the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
how does that bad decision feel?
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