The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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