yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
