you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I cut my penus on the lid.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
