So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
