Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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