Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
