I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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