I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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