i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
