I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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