I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the day after is always just damage control
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
