why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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