i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
